i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
