is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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