Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think I sprained my soul last night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize