I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
