I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
