I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
