i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
