Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
