thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
