Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
