just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
