So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
There are leaves in my underwear?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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