goodnight i made you a song goodbye
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
