I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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