I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We need to rekindle our bromance
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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