Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
