White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize