I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
