i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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