she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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