took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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