the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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