nut hugger
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
