He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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