Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need to calm my uterus...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
