I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
