So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
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May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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