Can i not drive my cunt home
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
