i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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