who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
