she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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