those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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