I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
