The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
