Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
