arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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