definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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