There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
