so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
