just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
