you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
