dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
