I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
