I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
