I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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