I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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