I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
