She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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