College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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