is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
