$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize