The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
