Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
