I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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