How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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