we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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