hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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