Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
