hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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