I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
