that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize