oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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