just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
