I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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